Liquid Fast Update

14 JAN 18 – Sunday

Update to my Liquid Diet…


I posted the vlog below, but I need to expand on my situation. Basically, I have no willpower. That’s it. That’s the secret. I’m not sure what happened to me! Actually, I know *exactly* what happened. I blame Netflix & Joe Cross. That cheeky bastard always gets to me. He’s so adorable! And that wretched Australian accent… I’m helpless in his gaze! Look at him! LOOK!



If you haven’t seen the documentary “Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead” and you enjoy food, DON’T. It always makes me want to jump on the bandwagon. And I stare at my sad, dusty juicer in the cupboard while whispering promises to it of giving it a new life on the countertop….

And I don’t. I then – predictably – vow to go on the liquid (pre-op phase) diet and try to get control of myself. And I last a day or two, maybe three if I’m in a particularly magical stream of consciousness.

This time, Winter Storm Iras showed up.


We were all caught off guard by two days of ***ahh-mazing*** temps in the 50’s, and even though it rained ALL day on Friday, the temp was 64F everywhere I was. Unfortunately, this caused flooding…and then sheets of ice when the temp dropped to the teens, and then single-digits by 7 pm. And that’s when the snow started.

“Yeah, so what?” you may be asking yourself. “Excuses, excuses…”

This meant that my blissful Saturday with an empty house became a distant hope, when my fiancé had to cancel work.


And the rest is history.

On a positive note: I’m down 4.2 lbs

See you soon. I appreciate you! :}

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12 JAN 18 – FRIDAY

Oh for the love of Pete! I know I say this a lot, but life just has been wild. Honestly, once you have surgery & you get beyond the first year, there are not a lot of changes to look forward to. If you’re following the plan, life will just cease to be “post-op” and morph into “life” now. I’ll do a catch-up blog soon, but for now I wanted to share my new VLOG. I’m hoping that maybe I can be more consistent with a new platform. So, if you like that kind of stuff come over and check it out!

The first vlog is my own call to action. I’m going to be doing a liquid diet “cleanse” for the remainder of January. My low weight post-op was about 210. This morning I clocked in at 276.6 – OhEmGee. I nearly passed away. I honestly don’t know if it’s related to the oral surgery I recently had, the medications I’ve been on for the last 6 weeks, or holiday bloat, but I’m over it. Whatever it is, I want it gone.

Happy 2018. I’ll see you soon. ❤

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New Moon Intentions

August 17, 2017 – Thursday

The New Moon was ten days ago, but life has kicked back into nearly-full gear again which has made updating a challenge. Anything that is not directly demanding my attention usually ends up pushed aside in August. This is a pattern I am aware of, and intend to break by the end of next summer’s sabbatical. That being said, I did want to update even if I am running a tad behind.

As I usually do with the New Moon, I set some intentions for myself. This cycle the goals are as follows:

  • Lose 10 pounds
  • Get at least 7 hours of sleep nightly
  • Exercise 4 times per week

Since embarking on my “new” diet phase this summer, I have not actually lost any weight on the scale. It is so very frustrating – but I know something is working, because my favorite jeans that did not fit me at the beginning of summer (read: could NOT button) are currently clinging to my abundant thighs as I type this, comfortably buttoned.

I honestly cannot really tell you what I did to deserve this body change. Officially, I have lost about 3 pounds this summer, but none since I posted the pictures a few posts back. And frankly, when you’re closer to 300 pounds than 200, 3 pounds are not even worth mentioning.


  • Continue daily affirmations
  • Wear FitBit to track daily goals (15,000 steps)
  • Get SLEEP
  • Drink 96 – 128 oz water every day
  • Only eat at the 3 main mealtimes
    • No snacking
    • No grazing
    • Listen to my guts
  • Regular exercise
  • Diet
    • Low-fat (<30g daily)
    • Low-calorie (~1000 daily)

I am better at this every day. I will reach my goal, no matter how long it takes.

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Welcome to August

August 3, 2017 – Thursday

Am I the only one who feels like July popped it’s head in the door for a minute and left again?

News of the day is that I am a diet-failer. I was doing really well last week and then mother nature took over and after a few dizzy spells, I gave in – not all at once, but the four day process to lose my grip also messed up my previously earned scale victories. So, I’m here again with no losses to report, but also no gains. Just…flat.

Today I read a story about a woman who lost 215 pounds in about a year and a half. Oddly enough, that’s almost exactly my total amount to lose. I am currently down 88 pounds from my highest weight, regardless of any surgical fluctuations. In fact, when taking into account my surgery start weight, I have only lost 32 pounds because of it.

Today starts the chapter called “Kiki loses 114 pounds in a year” because I am D-O-N-E with any and all excuses.

I *WILL* figure out what works.

I *WILL* be 200 pounds or less by New Year’s Eve 2017.

But, how…?


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Time to Get Wild

July 28, 2017 – Friday

I’m fat.

Well, duh… that’s why we’re here, right?

No, really…I gained back 54 pounds of surgery-lost weight, since October 2014. Thirty of those pounds jumped on the good ship in the last year. I’m currently +50 pounds.

Now, we battle. 

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Life Cleanse, 2.017

July 27, 2017 – Thursday

I am starting to feel “normal” again, for the first time in about 4 years.

There are some things that no one ever tells you about when you have this surgery: your life will undoubtedly be thrown into chaos. Granted, for everyone the chaos looks different.

People will tell you about the cravings, the head hunger, the weird psychological things that pop up. They will tell you how to eat, how to morph your lifestyle around food, and all will have their go-to plan for exercise. You’ll hear about how family situations may or may not be awkward, how dates no longer can revolve around food, and that absolutely everyone will comment on your changing physique.

But absolutely no one told me my life would never be the same, in any way, shape or form.

For me, it took a four-year relationship and threw it in a blender and poured out a mushy gruel about six months later. About a year post-op, we separated. He moved out. I rebelled. My kids got lazy. He focused on his new life. I self-sabotaged with working too much. My kids got old. He reached out. I regained fifty pounds. My kids got fat. He disappeared. I disappeared. My kids silently begged for normalcy.

Then, something amazing happened.

The Universe and God conspired against us all, and we found our way back.

Turns out, while we each thought the other had moved on, we both had been working on ourselves while praying for the other. And when the time was right, we were once again put in front of each other with fresh eyes and mended hearts. So here we are. Year Eight.

Please don’t let this surgery destroy you.

It consumed me. I went into it with an undisclosed eating disorder. I emerged with a different eating disorder. If you have a problem, know that you can silence those demons. There is help. Reach out. Life is waiting.

fuckin lovebirds


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Sound the Alarm

July 25, 2017 – Tuesday

So much life stuff…

I guess I’ll start where I last left off. Since March, I sold a restaurant, took a sabbatical from work, and moved to a new town up the lake. I also got accepted into a new university, *finally* straightened out my student loan mess, started another business, and began coursework for copywriting.

Oh, and I got engaged!

I also managed to only lose 0.5 pounds, probably due to nothing I can take credit for changing.

And so, the new life begins!

I’ve decided that I need to hold myself more accountable, and I’m going to post here to make that happen. Today, I started back on shakes. I’m going to do shakes plus one vegetarian meal daily. I have no idea how long I’m going to do this for, yet. I just know that I go back to my j-o-b in two weeks and I’m afraid my uniforms won’t fit.

More to come!


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